Tag Archives: poetry

Attack of a fearful kind


I feel so tense, it’s 3:30am

My heart is pounding through my body

An irrational fear has gripped me

I stand looking out of my window

Inhaling cold air as though it’s my last

I lay down my legs twitching uncontrollably

This will end but how? Is this THE end?

I lay listening to the radio

Thoughts whirling in and out of focus

I try to distract Myself but it’s no use

The wings of black are smothering me

It can’t be fought I can only accept it

The contract has been signed

My soul is now yours to keep

You have won the war I can no longer battle

I surrender to the devil within.

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Cyclothymia –


I wake up to an epiphany everyday, buzzing with thoughts, high on adrenaline.

Catapulted into the stratosphere with nothing more than a basket of dreams and tears of fear.

There is no come down from this everlasting nightmare.

The switch is neither on or off the fuse is merely pulsating to the beat of dread.

Desperately willing to cut the cord, hoping for nature to break my fall.

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A riddle of life


I sit in a room thinking, wondering through a maze of hysteria.

Unknown triggers and abnormal fears plague my uninspired mind.

I sit here in tears, I’ve learnt nothing all of these years.

I should have known this trap this malice despite such pity, I am still thinking about fear.

As I sit in this room, looking at a crooked path. Waiting for an offer that can’t be kept.

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The saga continues – death do us part #2


“Through the valley of death, lies a secret to be kept. Through the night of hidden secrets a lie is to be said. Whisper softly upon ones ear until this moment it was you I fear”. He woke to the sound of someone dressed in black whispering into his ear, it felt nice.

It felt almost worm and peaceful. “Is this it? Have I finally succumbed to my untimely death? Am I in hell? Am I in heaven?” Greg attempted to move he couldn’t, he attempted to scream but he couldn’t. “Stay still my fallen angel, stay still”. “What the fuck is this? Who are you?” The lady fell silent and began to stand, she was holding something in her hand, it looked like a broom. Greg instantly realised what this was. “Your a witch, that’s right your a witch who has trapped my soul in this dead body aren’t you? Listen what have I ever done to deserve this, I can’t move this excuse of a body I feel so so cold what is going on tell me N-N-Now!!”

The woman removed something from her head, Greg’s vision was disturbed from the bright lights surrounding him. “Did you speak love?” “YES WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?”….”no sorry duck I can’t understand what your saying, I’ll just finish replacing the hand towels and wash your sink out and leave you be”. Greg didn’t know what to say “A FUCKING CLEANER!?!?”. She continued sweeping the floor and placed her headphones back over her ears and began to sing “There’s a lady who’s sure All that glitters is gold And she’s buying a stairway to heaven”.

Greg decided he was loosing his shit “psychosis I’ve got psychosis, my boss always said I would have a break down…this is it”. He closed his eyes again, hoping to fall asleep and dream of something that made him feel human again.

This was to be short lived, he could hear a ruckus outside of his hospital room. “He is my husband and I demand that I see him, how am i supposed to feed my child, how am I supposed to go to work? NO NO NO I’m sorting this out…GREG…GREG….GREG they won’t let me in. Move BITCH” Greg heard an almighty crash and a female screaming for security. The double doors to Greg’s room burst open, “AWWW my man, we need to get you out of here, I know your dead but I need you to provide for us some how. I’m going to take you to the job centre and see if we can get you on the dole”. Greg was in disbelief…”I’m dead clinically at least, I can’t move and I don’t know what the fuck is happening to me, yet you expect me to visit the job centre so I can sign on?…..ARE YOU FUCKING CRAZY??????”.

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FEAR


I’m consumed by a darkness that embraces me like nothing else. Bruised black and blue beaten daily by my own intrusive thoughts. Constantly assessing and obsessing over unnecessary predicaments associated with a constant irrational itch seeded deep within a locked down subliminal state, a storm so violent my very core trembles with each beat. I cry wolf every chance I can get. This fear is real it has eaten me whole I can’t seem to escape it I just fucking hate it. I long for a break within the storm clouds, but with each time the storm calms I brace for a return, fearing that this time my soul will never come home, an empty structure that moves with the wind, a beacon of fear staring deep into the dark.

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Faded


I’m Fading gently
Blissfully unaware
back to the prison
A prison I call my mind

It’s harder lately
Being left behind
Time stops growing
But the air keeps flowing

Take me back
To the times of joy
A riptide of emotion
Storming upon me

I’ll sit back and wait
As the crows nest fly’s
Knowing only to well
This will never end

Keep on going, don’t forget
Keep on living there’s no regrets
Keep on growing, please don’t fret
Believe in what you say

A high tide ignites me
But the sea has given up
I’ll spend a lifetime knowing
That this was never that

I look for hope above me
I cannot help but weap
as the stars aflame burn
So does this prison of hurt

Glass smashes abruptly
As I throw my pride away
I’m feeling a bit half empty
A place I’m afraid to stay

send me on my way
To live just another day
Waiting for somthing
A little more than this

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Panic


I’m sitting here wishing,

Waiting for a trip beyond this.

Nothing can keep me from this moment

Not even the death that grips my mind.

The grace of all missery, dressed in a gown of

black.

The fury of her hatred, a burning polaris

igniting a trepid reaction to a meaningless vision

The heart beating faster than the speed of

light

time around me drowns and moans

Gasping for air I’m sinking slowly waiting

Sinking, deep, dangerous, dark, distraught

Time has gone, light has gone

beats beat faster

sense is senselessness without emotion

Distorted smashed into shards

Filled with fear it’s closing me down

No returning from this eruption

I’m a canibal

Eating my own soul

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Stop (something i stumbled upon…)


 

If I close my eyes I see nothing but black, when I open my eyes I’m presented with the middle finger from a world that doesn’t give a fuck. Only the best man knows the secrets of a life without a fist up his crack. Puppet master oh puppet master grant me one wish I plead remove your tightly clenched fist from my rectum I insist don’t stare me down don’t call my bluff just release me from this world that gives no fuck.
In return I shall prosper until my card is called a lifetime released from this truly lethal decree. Spared from the words of our keeper prepared and aware of a lapse in your promise. I and only I shall hide within the woodwork listening to the brass clockwork tick and then and then stop.

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